I was going to begin this post in a very aggressive and Karen-esque manner, but after a few seconds of quiet meditation I have decided to change my tone...at least for a little bit.
I had a job interview (I was offered the position but did not accept for obvious reasons) last week at a Senior Care Facility (SCF) and I have NEVER felt more dejected by the state of the environment I was interviewing in in my entire life. Mind you, I've interviewed for some pretty sleazy and sketchy people, interviewed in some pretty crappy places, and have even had some strong disagreements with interviewers who were mildly racist, rude and/or condescending, but this one takes the cake; and the worst part is this: this SCF is apparently very “respected” among SCF's here in the U.S. and they operate in multiple states.
I accidentally poisoned myself a few months ago. I know that sounds strange and suspicious but let me explain. I had a dermatologist appointment on May 3rd and before going in I decided to take a shower (as one should). While showering I accidentally swallowed and inhaled shampoo and spume through my mouth and nose, and some of it even got into my eyes. The experience was awful—I had horrible symptoms (pain in my nose and throat, chills, nausea, fatigue) for three days—but while “recovering” I was reminded of the time I was bitten by a scorpion and almost died. Here is that story.
For two weeks I had been craving some grilled cheese with tomato soup. Today I finally took the plunge and made some grilled cheese...and made the mistake of pairing it with a Campbell's Tomato “Soup”. I have never been more disappointed in a craving in my entire life. Two weeks of constant pondering, desiring, craving...and it culminated in semi-burned bread and cheese and red (and tasteless) salty water? The fucking nerve.
TL;DR: I had a grilled cheese w/ tomato soup and it was nasty.
My sharing battery has officially died out; and I am afraid it won't recharge for a very long time. (perhaps it won't ever recharge, but we shall see) For days and days I have tried to think of something important, something insightful, something meaningful to share, and I have nothing. Absolutely nothing.
And I just don't feel excited anymore. With life in general and with Stories.Not a blog. I have run out of things to say; of things to share, and although a big part of me feels relieved to have reached this point I really miss waking up with the desire to spend hours working and writing for this humble yet currently abandoned Not a blog.
I will officially take a month-long “hiatus” to refocus (and recharge?). On both Not a blog. and on my Endeavor, which I have also abandoned. I need it. I need to not be here—at least for a while—without feeling guilty.
I will endeavor to be back September 1st; but no guarantees will be (officially) made (to either myself or the few souls to happen to read this). I need time to do a lot of stupid yet important stuff, and at this junction in time Stories.Not a blog. is (unfortunately, regrettably) getting in the way. Perhaps if and/or when I do return I will have more of my stories written down, and an interesting or insightful or meaningful thing (or two) to share.
I started eating mushrooms recently and have only committed myself to one species (portobello mushrooms) in particular because of an awful story I was fed as a child.
When I was a toddler a family member told me that mushrooms were grown inside used diapers. That's it. That's the story. For 20+ years I've avoided eating mushrooms because a family member scared me into believing that all mushrooms were grown inside dirty, soiled, shit-stained, piss-filled, heavy, wet, and nasty diapers.
As I grew I (obviously) realized this family member had (obviously) lied, but guess what, Stranger? Out of curiosity one day I “Googled It” and won't you fucking believe it, some scientists in MexicoACTUALLY did it. They grew diapers inside dirty, soiled, shit-stained, piss-filled, heavy, wet and nasty diapers.
The world is fucking crazy.
Note: I know ABCMouseNews isn't too reliable of a source for some, but it was the best I could find. A simpleMushroom Diaperssearch on Google will give you a bunch of articles if you're interested.
A few days ago, for no particular reason, R. and I watched ALL 3 Divergent movies. In order. Without skipping around (I usually skip around when I watch movies; whether I've seen them before or not unless the movie is somehow TOO GOOD to skip (which is exceedingly rare)) and without any breaks in between.
It was a horrible (awful, excruciating, agonizing, soul-destroying) experience and unless I am binge watching the LOTR trilogy again I will NEVER do something like this (again!). Well, there might be exceptions in the future, but they will be VERY rare and sporadic and I will take appropriate breaks and skip around (just a little bit) when absolutely necessary.
We started watching around 6:30PM (Friday, July 16th) and finished around 12:48am (Saturday, July 17th).
I'm not updating Stories.Not a blog. as much as I used to because I'm scared of being a nuisance (to you) (perhaps I'll expand more on this later?). I know you can't see or hear me (heck, you don't even know who I am and you can choose not to read SNAB if you'd like) but I am so afraid of you (stranger) thinking I'm an annoyance or nuisance of any kind.
I thought I wasn't writing/updating due to laziness, but that's not the case. After the “poems” I wrote a while ago I've felt “off” and being “sick” for several weeks made it worse. Any creativity I had is now gone and I don't know what else to say except sorry. I still have things to finish, but I don't know when that'll be. Hopefully something interesting will sprout up soon.
I am having a mid-midlife crisis. I have been desperately looking for this stupid hamburger from my childhood and I CANNOT FIND IT ANYWHERE. Well, I can cause’ I managed to find a picture, but I mean I can’t find anywhere to purchase it. I used to buy these a lot as a kid and its been over a decade since my lips have tasted their marshmallow-y goodness.
I hate not updating SNAB often, but these past three weeks have been dreadful. I was “sick” for two of them, and this week I've been struggling. In my previous post I said I was excited to get back to my normal activities, but anxiety, a dear old friend of mine, has been making the rounds; which means I haven't been able to do anything productive.
I have two stories semi-ready, though. I will try my hardest to complete them soon and then they'll be up. In the meantime I'm gonna get back to working on my Endeavor and trying to re-establish a somewhat normal sleep schedule.