feeling tired

I've been sleeping a lot. These past two weeks have been challenging on my mental health, but the horizon is close; I can kind of feel it. I've been trying my best to remain isolated, calm, and away from things and people that cause me anxiety/stress/etc. It has been hard, not responding to anything—or anyone, but for now that's what's best for where I'm at. When things get extra tough I always feel a tinge of guilt that makes things worse. What if they're mad at me? Will things change between us once this is over—if it ever is over?

What if, what if, what if.

But that's not what I should be focusing on. That always make it worse, and like many things, doubt (and depression, and trauma, and anxiety, and stress, and etc.) is a vicious cycle that becomes a tornado the size of Texas without you meaning it to. Mine is the size of Maine, currently, so I need to remain at peace to get it down to the size of Minneapolis, and then I'll see what happens.

Is that odd? Does that make sense? Am I overreacting?

What if, what if, what if.


C. W.