These (Sleepin') Meds Are Not Working!

I have struggled with insomnia since I was a child, and after a few hellish months (most recently) where I “slept” an average of 2-4 hours a night or would sometimes go a day or two without sleeping, I decided to make an appointment (in December of last year) to see my primary care doctor. We met in late January and she prescribed sleeping pills to help with my insomnia/anxiety—and they have not helped—at all. All they do is make me feel angry (not because they don't work, but because they “just do”) when I wake up and that's no way to live. I am usually pretty chipper in the morning—even if I don't manage to sleep a wink—and feeling cranky right off the bat is, simply put, disgusting. It ruins my day and makes me feel bitter and resentful for no particular reason.

I called her nurse today to see if something could be done (med change, etc.), and I am expecting a callback on Monday or Tuesday of next week. I hope something stronger is prescribed and that it is non-habit forming. I do not want to be dependent on sleeping pills for the rest of my life, but I suppose if it comes to that then it comes to that (although the idea is heartbreaking, to be honest).

We'll see what she says (and what she prescribes).


C. W.